Series 35: Q and A

Ask me anything

So I thought it would be fun to ask my Facebook friends to pose 35 questions to me, and these wonderful folks indulged me by asking the following (Note:  This was So. Much. Fun.):

1. (from Dawn):  As a little girl, what did you dream/plan to be when you grew up?  When you know yourself, you know yourself.  I dreamed of being a writer.  My very first story (I couldn't have been over 10 years old) was a silly little tale about a girl who lived in the woods and couldn't find her way out, and I called it "Zephyr Lake" because I was completely enchanted by the word "zephyr" at the time.  I bound my book in pink construction paper and white yarn.  I was on my way!  I also very much dreamed of falling in love with a handsome man (I'm as girlie as they come) and having lots of babies with him.
2. What is your favorite type of toilet paper?  (I will have my blog readers know that I almost snorted coffee out my nose when I got this question.) And the answer is...Charmin. 
3. And why? Do you select based on color, patterns, quiltedness, price, comfort.....  Because I was raised on it!  And because I've never found anything I like as much.  In fact, there's nothing that really boils my blood like toilet paper that's practically nonexistent.  Barnes and Noble stores have the *worst*.  Yes, I pay attention to things like this!
4. (from Stefanie):  Who/when was your first kiss?  Blaine Hansen.
5. (When): Summer of 1994 when I was 17 years old.  He had an earring and smoked cigarettes and I probably dated him for shock value alone, but he was genuinely funny and sweet.  Our relationship was mostly a friendship but he did give me the most adorable first kiss.  That's really the only way to describe it.  :)
6. (from Ellen):  Do you sing in the shower? I used to, especially if/when I was really happy about something.  I haven't in a long time, usually because showers are the rare personal time for me and I don't want to ruin them with my singing! 
7. If so, what is your preferred song? This is so odd, but the Shaker song "Simple Gifts."  I either learned it at private school or from Little House on the Prairie, can't remember which, but I've always loved the melody and think it's actually a perfect fit for my limited singing abilities. 
8. And, if you wake up tomorrow and your bed somehow moved to Russia while you were sleeping, what would you do? Run to the American Embassy like that girl in "The Saint" and beg to get on the first flight home.  I know that sounds extremely nonadventurous of me but I've never had any desire to go to Russia and it's probably the last place I'd like to wind up, accidentally or otherwise!  And no you can't change the location to England.  (This was a very unfair caveat.)
9. (from Angela):  Do you like Coke or Pepsi and why?  diet Coke, all the way.
10. (Why):  I think because we always had Pepsi in my house growing up, but when I would visit my grandparents, my Grandpa would always give me Coke in the glass bottles as a treat.  So I associated the taste of Coke with love and reward!  :)
11. What's your favorite book of the Bible?  John. 
12. Who was your most influential school teacher?  My 5th-grade teacher, Mrs. Allen.  She was strict, demanding, and tough, but I never learned so much or had such a ball doing it.  And I could make her laugh.  :)
13. (from Leslie):  what makes you supremely happy?  I've never been happier than in the private, exclusive company of my beloved Marty.  Time alone with him is the greatest pleasure I know.  To quote Jane Eyre (which I will do at any turn):  He is "my second self and best earthly companion."
14. (from Wendy):  If you were the President of the United States, what is the first thing you would change and why?  Very tough question.  Marty and I have remarked to each other that the office no longer holds the appeal that it surely did in years past, because now you become such a polarizing figure, no matter which side you're on.  I made a goal a while back to steer clear of most things political in a public way (you won't see me posting much about it on Facebook or talking about issues here on my blog) because I don't have the heart or stomach for the backlash -- taking a stand on an issue can make enemies of friends and it's just not worth it to me.  I'll leave the political maneuverings to those capable of handling criticism!  But to be fair, I'll try to answer the question, but forgive me if I'm vague for all the above reasons.  What would I do?  I would start limiting the government's power.  I would pull back where government has ventured to go in recent years.  I'm an avid student of history and have read the thoughts of the men who created this nation (Jefferson most specifically), and I can say with assurance that he would be appalled at how intertwined the government is in nearly every aspect of our modern society.  He would promote a more limited government, and that's where I stand, too.  I think you can probably read between the lines there on where I stand more specifically. 
15. Why would I do it?  Because I believe that a powerful government quickly -- and inevitably -- becomes a tyrannical one.  And there you have it.
16. (from Holly):  If you could channel and hang out with any dead celebrity who would it be&why??  For some reason, I found this one to be the most difficult to answer!  Probably because I couldn't choose.  I pondered Thomas Jefferson, Queen Elizabeth I, Agatha Christie, C.S. Lewis. 
17. (Why):  Simply because I find them all to be endlessly fascinating.  All of them were intelligent, witty, and powerful in some way. 
18. If money were no object what would your ideal romantic/intimate vacation destination be and why?  A long time ago I saw an ad for a resort in Fiji and it's lived in my mind as the ultimate destination ever since.  The ad featured one of those "huts" suspended over the ocean, accessible by a pier, and inside was all white -- long white curtains, white bedding, white upholstery -- so as not to compete with the bright turquoise and greens of the sky and sea outside the huge windows.  Just looking at the ad made me breathe easier...and I've always wanted to go there with Marty, to experience that kind of relaxation with him and to quite literally be away from everyone and everything else.
19. What song(be it Barry white or lady gaga) gets u in "the mood"???  I canNOT believe I am admitting this, but what the heck.  The first thing that came to my mind was the song "Better than Me" by Hinder.  It was on Marty's iPod when we first started dating and well...that's all I have to say about that.  :)
20. (from Susan):  #1: When your soul leaves your physical body, what do you most want to be remembered for? That I loved people.  There are certainly tangible things I wish to accomplish with my life, many of them yet undone, but I don't want people to list all my accomplishments at my funeral.  I want my children to say, Mom just really loved me.  Powerfully, practically, unceasingly, unconditionally.  I want anyone else who survives me to say the same.  That I LOVED them.
21. Or, #2: You have strong (heartfelt) family values, but what are the top 3 dreams you want for each of your kids (and don't fall back to usual "health, happiness, and financial security.").   1.  I want them to never be alone.  I want them to know the love of their Father and Creator and Savior.  I want them to experience with someone the passionate love I've had with their father.  I want them to know they will ALWAYS have me and they can always come home.  I want them to have good and faithful friends.  2.  I want them to love learning.  If you have an eager mind and a good imagination, you will never be bored and you will always find comfort.  3.  I want them to be grateful.  If you make it a habit to count your blessings, you will always find fulfillment and peace.
22. (from Kristen):  How 'bout these - If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent or skill, what would you want it to be? I'm surprising myself with this answer, but I think I'd love to be able to sew clothes!  I love watching Project Runway (I think it's the only TV show I watch with any kind of faithfulness) and I love the idea of whipping up something to wear that's unique.  I've never tried sewing but I've always thought, Some rainy day I might give it a whirl! 
23. What is the most far-fetched to-do on your bucket list (that are actually dead set on doing)?  Far-fetched because of the enormous financial requirement, but I'd love to travel Europe with Marty.  IN STYLE!!!
24. (from Brittany):  During pms, do you desire chocolate or crave the salty-goodness?  Both.  In fact, when I was a teenager and PMS'ing, I would go to McDonald's and get a small fry with a small chocolate shake and eat them together.  When I was pregnant, I was classically hormonally pregnant in this way -- I would go to Chick-fil-A and get extra pickles to go with my cookies-and-cream shake.  DE-LISH.
25. In love gestures, Extravagance or simplicity?  Can I say "both" again?  When I gave birth to Lucy, Marty surprised me with a wristlet-style Louis Vuitton bag (something I'd always wanted).  I was shocked and so touched that he did that for me.  But I would put that little bag right next to the daily emails he used to send me when we were dating -- they literally took my breath away.  His loving thoughtfulness went into both expressions!
26. (from Jen):  What is your all time favorite outfit??  Love this question!  The first thing that came to mind was one of the first outfits I ever bought for myself, with my own money.  It was an outfit from Express (it used to be vastly more popular!) -- a 3/4-sleeved tight black tee with a ballet skirt in several layers of wispy-thin material in a black and gold and brown leaf pattern.  I wore it with black tights and adorable black flats.  I felt positively ethereal in it!  My favorite outfit now is anything that captures Marty's attention, which is usually something like a pink or red sweater with a skirt and boots.  And red lipstick.  And headbands.  Lord, I love the headbands!  (When are you too old for them???)
27. If you had to be stuck in a television show which one would it be?  You will laugh because I can't decide between these two:  Little House on the Prairie and Sex and the City.  Ha!!!  Little House, because it always made me feel so warm and cozy and life was simple but rewarding.  Sex and the City, for the clothes (oh the fabulous clothes and shoes!) and the lifestyle of being a writer in NYC and the celebrating of female friendship (honestly, I can only handle the tamed-down versions they air on TBS because I always found the sex element to be mostly just raunchy and over-the-top).
28. (from Cathy):  When you shave, do you start with your pits or your legs?  Hysterical!  I shave them at different times!  I like to shave my legs in a hot bath and I like to shave my pits in the shower.  Is that weird?
29. If you could live in another country, which one would it be and why?  Hi, my name is Becky and I'm an Anglophile.  If I could live in England, even for a short amount of time, I would consider my life to be more blessed than I could bear. 
30. (Why):  Because I love England -- the landscape, the history, the literature, the sense of humor.  I have a degree in English because I love the written word and no one has mastered it so well as the English people.  In fact, my advisor had to force me to choose American Lit classes because I found them to be distasteful by comparison!
31. How many days can you stand to go without a shower?  Roughly a 24-hour day.  Seriously, I'm the girl who prefers a shower in the morning AND a bath at night.  It's hellish on the skin but all the more reason to stock up on yummy lotions!  I just prefer to be clean and smell clean.  After I had my babies, that was the first thing I started counting down to -- how many hours (minutes?) before I can get out of bed and into the shower?!?
32. (from Teri):  If a film was made about your life, who would you want to play you and who would you want to play Marty?  I would choose Natalie Portman, because I would fancy myself to be that petite and beautiful.  And I have a suspicion she's a kindred spirit...  For Marty?  That one is tougher because only Marty can be Marty, but if I had to choose...maybe Ryan Gosling.  Because I just love that kid.
33. What is the most important lesson you have learned so far in your life?  This echoes back to an earlier answer, but the simplest answer is this:  To be grateful.  I've learned to be thankful for every good thing that comes my way, even if I worked hard for it, because I was even given the ability to work hard.  I used to watch American Idol but I would get so incensed at these kids who would be rejected, who would come out saying "It's not faaaaaaaair" and "But it's my dreeeeeeeam!"  Nobody owes you anything in life, children.  Do yourself the biggest favor of all:  Lose your sense of entitlement and start working hard and being grateful.  Life will be far, far kinder to you.
34. What was your first job?  Babysitting my cousins Madelyn and Adrian, who I think were 5 and 3 years old respectively, the summer that I was...15?  I watched them all day, every weekday, for $60/week.  It was HARD work -- feeding, bathing, entertaining.  But they were sweet girls (and still are) and it was good practice for motherhood!
35. (from Teri, who took pity and asked me a few more so I could get over the hump!):  Do you like shopping for clothes?  Yes and no.  I have not enjoyed it nearly so much since having children.  I have yet to make peace with my postpartum body...yes, I need to work on it (exercise, eat better) but no, there are places on me that will never be the same (even my SHOE size changed!) and it's hard to accept this.  But -- if I have a generous budget and no babies to wrangle and a couple of solid hours to take my time (and a friend with a sense of humor always helps), then yes, I'm probably going to have a great time!

Series 35: New Year's...er, aspirations

A New Year

There's nothing magical about a new year.  Just like there's nothing magical about a wedding ceremony for two people committed to entering into marriage together (you better already have it because saying some words in front of a pastor isn't going to inspire it!).  However, it *feels* good to say, "This is where we began" and "This is a fresh, new start."  I also have a dislike toward the notion of a "resolution."  It feels too solid, too written in stone.  So, somewhat alternatively, I'm going to make some gentle suggestions to myself to aspire to the following this year (the asterisked items are ones I usually do anyway, but am going to be more purposeful in doing more consistently):

1. Make my bed every day.* 
2. Read 2-3 books a month.  I'm currently working on my list of 35 books toward this end (I'm at 16 or 17 and could really use more recommendations!).
3. Read to my children every day.* 
4. Do something creative with Will (and Lucy when she gets there) every other day:  Play-doh, coloring, etc.
5. Plan my menus and do my grocery-shopping in advance of each new week.* 
6. Develop and implement a housekeeping notebook/system.  This is a trendy thing in the blog world right now, but I'm going to differ with mine in two major ways:  1) I'm not going to spend more than $5-10 on a notebook and some paper (I unashamedly scoff at the $50 versions!), and 2) I'm not going to be a slave to it, but rather use it as a guide and gradually work my way up to a good pace.  I've seen the need for this over and over in my daily duties, as I tend to triage and well, if you only ever triage, you never get to cleaning those baseboards!
7. Spend less time on Facebook.  This won't be easy, as I often feel the need for some outside connection, but it's too much of a timewaster.  I've often flirted with the notion of cutting it out completely, but that would be unfair to several friendships that require (and deserve) the perpetual nourishing I can give them through Facebook.  So, I'll just be more efficient and strategic with my time on there!
8. Go "deeper."  There's been a recent trend on Facebook to choose a word to describe how you want to approach 2012, and this is the word I chose.  Simply stated, I want to seek greater depths in all my relationships, and also in my own understanding, knowledge, wisdom, compassion, and love.
9. Be better about remembering birthdays with at least a timely card.
10. Schedule (and keep!) appointments with my doctors and dentist.  I've been woefully neglectful here.
11. Have dinner at least started by the time Marty gets home.
12. Stop and play or read or snuggle with my kids when they request it.  Everything else can wait.
13. Pray more purposefully.  This is another area where I tend to triage!
14. Make some peace with the phone.  I'm not sure why, but I actually despise talking on the phone.  Obviously this is not a workable situation!
15. Attempt storytime at the library again, even though it is stressful, upsetting, and most often seemingly not worth the effort.  But it does my children good to get out of the house and interact with other kids, so I think we should try, try again.
16. Attend church every Sunday.*
17. WORK ON MY MYSTERY NOVEL.  The one I'm writing, that is. 
18. Seek small freelance projects to supplement our income and use my brain and (rusty) editorial skills.
19. Nurture friendships where there is evidenced mutual affection and begin to let go of "friends" who don't really keep in touch, despite efforts made.  The people who give are the ones who deserve the attention.  That's not meant to be mean-spirited, just...realistic and fair.
20. Establish a good relationship with Will's new speech therapist and work with her on homework/goals for him.
21. Potty-train Will.
22. Wean Lucy from the bottle to a sippy/straw cup.  Also eliminate baby food from her diet (even though if this takes all year, I don't mind).
23. Drink more water.  I have a super tall cup that I shall fill and empty each day.  By drinking it, of course.  :)
24. Cut back on diet Coke.  (It just pained me greatly to type that.)
25. Exercise.  I want to lose some weight but don't necessarily want to watch the scale to track it.  I might step on once a week or so just to gauge my efforts, but I'm not going to obsess.
26. Continue to live a mostly TV-free lifestyle for myself, and really cut back on TV for the kids.  I don't use it as a babysitter (indeed, what would that even look like???) but I do rely on it in order to get something done, or for a break here and there.  I don't imagine I could cut it out, but a scaling back is in order, methinks.
27. Find a way to get away with Marty.  We tried -- and failed -- to take a mini-vacay this year and we are starved for it now.  Finances are always tight but it's time to apply some creativity to this goal and get it done.
28. Get back into couponing, though perhaps be a bit less fanatical this time.  I don't *have* to buy it just because it's BOGO.  Right?
29. Alternate work and rest for naptimes; i.e., today I'll get caught up on Lucy's laundry, but tomorrow I'll take a nap myself.
30. Grow a garden of some kind.  If we're still here come spring, we'll have another potted garden on the deck, but I want to include a couple more veggies besides tomatoes.  Green peppers?  Herbs?
31. Continue to take time to be purposely grateful by writing my "Multitudes on Mondays" posts and in other ways.
32. Clean out the basement storage room.  (Bleech.)
33. Practice grace and forgiveness, including (and especially?) toward myself.  I am *not* instilled with superhuman powers.  Get over it, Becky.
34. Keep as current as possible with the Shutterfly albums I compile for each year of my children's lives. 
35. Purge all that's unnecessary from our home, for simpler living and saner housekeeping.

I actually wondered how I would get to #35, but now that I'm here, I find I could probably keep going!  And of course, I don't think I will be successful at every line item, but if I give each a purposeful try, then I'll certainly have a better 2012 than if I had not done this exercise.  Wish me luck!

Series 35: About Blogs

Installment #2

20 things you'll never see me do on this blog:

1. Refer to my husband by his initials or in any contrived, hyper-cutesy, blog-lingo way.  His name is Marty.  I will call him Marty.
2. Behave as though my life, my words, my name, or my blog are on their way to becoming some sort of brand.  I'm just Becky, and this is just a blog.
3. Go from one single-digit size to a smaller single-digit size and talk about "my weight loss journey."
4. Speak as though my wedding was some kind of social event.  Two people got married and shared that day with their loved ones.  It was beautiful, happy, and intimate...and probably not worthy of a magazine spread.  Yet I still manage to go on with my life...
5. Post pictures of myself posing in front of my bathroom mirror to show you all the outfits I'm simply agonizing over.  Complete with smiley or pouty faces.
6. Discuss my Louis Vuitton bag collection.
7. Create an inspiration board for a 2-year-old's birthday party.
8. Sell you stuff.  I tried ads but they failed because I made them teeny-tiny and/or hid them at the very bottom of the page.  Turns out I hate ads on my own site just as much as I do on others' (although if you're raising money for a sick child or for an adoption, by all means...).
9. Encourage you to buy that $160 sound machine so your infant will sleep better. 
10. Talk endlessly about my life in great detail and then every so often, post about how you can't possibly know me at all.
11. Attempt to proselytize you to any kind of parenting "method."  Or sincerely consider that you should give up the cost of a month's worth of diapers to pay for a web seminar on nighttime parenting.  Because clearly nobody's been able to figure this out on their own in all the centuries of human history.
12. Share links to blogs that would make you feel inferior or inadequate in any way.
13. Use crossed-out words to make me sound funnier.  Because I suck I'm not good at it.  (Although I heartily admire those who are.)
14. Show you images of customized stationery I bought.  For my infant.
15. Pretend to be perfect.  Then deny my (pretense to) perfection by pointing out that I had a bad hair day.
16. Write an entire post about aforementioned hair.
17. Insult children's clothing that says "I love Mommy" or the like. 
18. Promote any kind of random standard about baby clothing; i.e., it's a blight on the innocence of a child if his mother puts him in a polo shirt at the age of 2. That kind of thing.
19. Deify my husband.  He's marvelous alright, but definitely not perfect.  It's never pleasant to be reading your blogs, sipping your coffee, and suddenly feel yourself gagging.
20. Speak as though your life is obviously incomplete because you, your home, or your child don't have x, y, or z. 

15 things you *will* find on this blog:

1. Pictures of my kids.  Not necessarily dressed up or at their best.  (Indeed, aren't those mutually exclusive?)
2. Gratitude.  Lots and lots of it.  I have more to be thankful for than time in the day to express my thanks adequately.
3. Unabashed admiration for my husband. 
4. Nerdiness galore -- recommendations on books, documentaries, historical places to visit.  Buckle up.
5. Sarcasm.  Because I'm good at it.
6. A sense of humor about (almost) everything.  Laughter is critical and it never hurts to lighten up a bit.
7. Links to blogs that I find important or meaningful or helpful or encouraging.
8. Confessions of struggle, loneliness, and failure.
9. Hope -- sweet, blessed hope -- for doing better tomorrow.
10. Amateur(!) theological thoughts and musings.
11. Tips on what has worked for me as a wife, mom, homemaker, friend, employee, Christian.  With a great big caveat that your life just might be different from mine, and your experiences unique.
12. Tips on how to save money.
13. Exultations at having saved some money!
14. Questions on parenting.  I actually don't know everything because I actually haven't done this before.
15. Boring anecdotes about my daily life.  Let's face it, this blog is for my parents, sisters, and a few very close friends who do me the favor of staying interested in my life despite how boring it truly is.

Introducing "Series 35"

Installment #1

In honor of my fast-approaching 35th birthday (I just choked a little typing that), I'm going to write 35 lists of 35 items each.  Some will be fun, and some will be serious, but all will be random, as I haven't the time to write anything altogether circumspect these days. 

In casting about for how to inaugurate "Series 35," I looked no further than my good friend, the Shabby Princess, for inspiration...her post today is a celebration of books (hello, kindred spirit, SP!).  Thus, here's my Series 35 on favorite books (fiction/literature; I might do another list on non-fiction) and favorite authors (if I couldn't narrow it down to just one offering from a particular author):

1. Gotta start with the cream of the crop:  Jane Eyre by the inimitable Charlotte Bronte
2. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
3. Sense and Sensibility (Jane Austen)
4. Elizabeth Berg
5. Beowulf (uh, the Anglo-Saxons?)
6. Chris Bohjalian
7. The Secret Garden (Francis Hodgson Burnett)
8. Michael Crichton
9. Agatha Christie
10. Jennifer Donnelly
11. Rebecca (Daphne du Maurier)
12. Silas Marner (George Eliot)
13. Bridget Jones' Diary (Helen Fielding)
14. Cold Mountain (Charles Frazier)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Philippa Gregory
17. Snow Falling on Cedars (David Guterson)
18. Tess of the d'Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy)
19. The Scarlet Letter (Nathaniel Hawthorne)
20. Ernest Hemingway
21. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
22. Barbara Kingsolver
23. Sophie Kinsella
24. Stephenie Meyer (that's right, I'm a Twi-hard and I don't mind admitting it!)
25. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
26. Love Comes Softly (series by Janette Oke -- the best books you can give an adolescent girl, in my opinion)
27. Nancy Pickard
28. Francine Rivers (I almost put Redeeming Love but her other books are really just as good)
29. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
30. Anita Shreve
31. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
32. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
33. The Hobbitt (J.R.R. Tolkein)
34. Jennifer Weiner
35. Little House on the Prairie (series by Laura Ingalls Wilder)

Note:  Some of these books I love so much I could cuddle them, while others I love because they really moved me (Tess) or changed my thinking in some way (Catcher).

So -- please leave a comment telling me what book(s)/authors I may have missed in a list of top 35!